I realized something through this second experience. I didn't really understand people when they said "I had a miscarriage." After my ectopic rupture, people would talk about miscarriage and I would think to myself that my loss was so much greater in some way. I have learned though, that a miscarriage is a very traumatic experience, and I had NO idea what was coming my way.
Basically I lost too much blood and had to go to the E.R. I found a new respect for women who have to go through this. With my ectopic pregnancy, my bleeding was internally, and so when I went in for surgery, I didn't see any of it. All I heard was a "we cleaned out a lot, I mean a LOT of blood." It was the healing after that was long and difficult, but the experience, although painful, it was not visually very scary--if that make sense.
A miscarriage for me, was visually scary. I thought I knew what was coming, I really did, but I did not expect what happened, and I almost fainted 3 times that night, and I am still working with the doctor to get my blood levels back where they need to be.
Through it all, I am just so grateful for a wonderful mother, and family and friends who are so supportive and loving. I have been overwhelmed with gratitude for the meals, emails, and text messages...and I think of people that might not have a safety net like this. Well don't do it alone. You can send a message my way- or you can text message your church leaders.
I was able to share with my family my testimony, and some neat things that happened to me while going through this experience. Although it is not appropriate here, I will say, that I know Christ is watching over me. He was so near me, and I know he loves all of his children. He just hopes so much that we will take every opportunity, good and bad, and sad--to come unto Him, that our burdens may be light.
Have a wonderful day!
Camille
P.S. Yes, it is still painful, but just a small desire of hope leads to faith, which leads to strength and love, and peace.
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