Most Dangerous Circumstances

I have been feeling lately, as if I am on a boat, drifting ever so slowly away from the spirit of the Lord.  Some days I don't notice because I am just going a long, doing this and that, you know, my not so routinely routine, but when I look, I realize that I am not feeling as close to the Lord as I have been.

I haven't been as diligent with my scripture studies lately.  In fact, there are some nights that I have just flipped open my Book of Mormon, read one verse, and then closed it.  Following that abrupt study, I would say a prayer that was short as well, and usually ended with telling the Lord "Well, it is getting late, I should go to sleep, love you bye" thinking that of course the Lord would understand that I am tired and can't say an Enos Prayer right now.

But oh how different I have felt!  I have wasted time on the internet watching youtube how-to videos, I have felt unmotivated, and treated friends and family as just common acquaintances.

 I had a strange moment where I kind of fought with myself....Justin and I had heard about this new movie, and it sounded really neat, but when we watched the preview, it was obviously not lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy...but, in all honesty,  I was still kind of seeking after it. I wanted to see it!!  Luckily my husband was wise, and said we should watch something else.  I knew he was right, but for the first time in a LONG TIME, I had a desire to see something I knew I shouldn't see.

 I happened to have a last minute "open the scriptures and read one verse" night last night, and I found this.

"And thus because of iniquity amongst themselves, yea, because of dissensions and intrigue among themselves they were placed in the most dangerous circumstances."

It kind of caught me by surprise.  It is one of those moments where you ask yourself if you are having a spirit guiding scripture finding moment that you so often hear about.  The Nephites at this time were fighting amongst themselves, order was lacking, and it allowed the Lamanites to take possession of many of the Nephites lands.

Now I don't know how many people died with the Lamanites taking over their cities, but I thought, how sad!  Those little stinkin Nephites, if they would just pull it together, and remember what they are fighting for, and not worry about clothes, and money, and hair and fashion, and....the latest movie that just came out.....WAIT A SECOND!!!  I am doing the same thing!!!!!

I realized that I had put myself in the "most dangerous circumstances."  Ya, it is nice to look good, and make money, and watch movies- but I am here fighting for something.  I don't have time for those things to consume my life!  I am in the most dangerous circumstances, because if I continue the way I am, then I might just not care if I watch a movie that is violent or that swears, or has "that one little part."

I might forget that the Lord provides physically and financially, and he has done so for Justin and I. I will slip away, and the Lord will not be able to bless me- because he is only bound when I do what he says, when I do not what he says, I have no promise.

So, of course, I am determined to paddle back, and throw in my anchor.  Most importantly, I covenanted to remember my Savior-it is because of him that I can paddle back, have the strength to do so, and be safe during any storm that comes my way.  So here we go again- I'm getting out of this most dangerous grey zone!  See ya!