My Mistake

 I just found this from WAY before 2008, so I finished it, and want to post it. (The picture isn't old, just most of the post.)

Best friends is kind of magical. You can have two people who are completely different, bring them together, and it is as if they were never apart or different. In my family, there are lots of boys, and only two girls. Since my sister and I both shared a love of that Jane Austen type of setting, I always thought that we would be close as close. But what I failed to see is that I wasn't Jane or Lizzy, I was one of the annoying younger ones, who is pitied for her ridiculousness. I was always taking things from my sister (borrowing them secretly) and then getting busted. I was the girly girl, she was sporty.  I was outgoing and was determined to be best friends with everyone-that tends to leave not enough time for everyone; she on the other hand, had a few close friends, and was always loyal and there for them.

 I never ever believed we would have that friendship and sisterly bond, until one night- we talked.

It was in High School. I was worried about some new boy problem, and she roomed across from me. None of my friends would answer their phone, and I HAD to talk to someone. So I decided to talk to her. It was incredible how similar we felt about things.  She had the same thoughts in her head about dating, and the same griefs.  We talked about worries, and what we were hoping for in our future boyfriends.   It was that night that I realized I had gone 12 years of my life missing out on this girl. This girl that was always under the same roof. Someone that I could have had as a best friend, and could have had so much fun with. That night changed how I viewed her so much.

Of course, we have our faults, and because we are around our family the most, they are the ones that, in my opinion, we are quickest to judge, and slowest to be patient with or have faith in their ability to change.  So unfortunately our friendship didn't develop.  I still wanted to be with my high school friends, college friends, or music friends more than my sister.  Mandy, was mature and kind enough to actually want to do things with me, and realize that family is more important than friends.  I have to admit, when I was in High School and my first years at college, I wasn't smart enough or mature enough to realize that.

The second most cherished talk I remember with Mandy was the night before I left on my mission.  I was stressed about trying to pack away all of my things into boxes (I didn't want to throw anything away) and in walks Mandy.  It kind of surprised me, but I was happy to have the company amidst piles of stuff.

We started talking and she started sharing things about herself that I never even knew.  Once again I was so shocked that I had grown up in the same house as this girl, but she had always just been the older sibling that got mad at me for "everything" (everything in quotations because that was my teenager mentality).  That night she told me about so many of her weaknesses, but all I could see was her strength.  Here was a person that had gone through so so many hard things, and come out with a positive attitude, many great friends (young and old), and blessings from Heavenly Father. 

This is just my section for her.   I love my sister so much. I wish that she could understand, and see how others admire her qualities. She is one of the strongest people I know, and always exceeds my blurred view. I see someone who is strong, and cute, and fun- and she proves to be more. She sets goals and stays close to the gospel.  She lifts and inspires others to go be adventurous, try new things, and practice swinging a large whip, cause it's fun. :) It was a mistake that I didn't try harder to be a best friend to someone right under the same roof as me.

Families can be the most difficult setting sometimes, but they are what God has given us to prepare to live with Him.  When a family or sibling relationship is constantly practicing "faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities" (The Family a Proclamation to the World) you can achieve happiness (and it's hard not to) in that family, or relationship.

 If you have been wronged in some way by a family member, remember that even then, the Lord has asked us to pray for and love our enemies, and for those who despitefully use us.  Then we can be blessed with Charity, the Pure Love of Christ.  I know that when we deny the ability of someone to change, especially a family member, we are denying the atonement.  Anyone can change through the sacrifice of our Savior.  Yes each person has their agency, but it is not our place to judge whether or not they will choose to change or not, because the Lord is still causing mighty miracles, his hand is stretched out still, and many shall be converted before the Lord comes.

Please just love your family, and try not to judge.  I did, and I was wrong, and for that I missed out on a childhood friendship that could have been so much more rich.  Thankfully, I still have a wonderful future.  I get to see my sister often, talk with her, and admire her great personality.  I am looking forward to new and fun experiences with my best friend, Mandy.