This is day 36 because we found out we were pregnant thanksgiving day, I started bleeding the next day, have had stomach problems and surgery, and now I am on day number 36 of the unknown.
This morning I woke up at 4:30 feeling really nauseated, and went straight to the bathroom. Of course Justin was so great to get up, bring me some peppermint oils, and a bucket in case I threw up. I thought that I should maybe take some medicine, and of course I have to eat something, so I heated up some simple soup, and drank two sips of it. Yes, I know, soup at 4:30 in the morning doesn't sound that amazing, but let me tell you, I thought it was.
I fell asleep within 10 minutes of drinking a few sips, and didn't wake up until 8.
My great friend Bethany came to visit. I have to say, she is one of those friends that you love like crazy, but don't get to see enough of. She made me laugh, and we watched crazy things on You-tube together. Then my mother in law came to pick me up to take me to the Israelsen family party.
It was great to see everyone, and I was walking today like a determined penguin. Trust me, that is a lot better than a 100 year old lady. I was feeling pretty good. Until tonight.
I started bulging up again in the stomach, and feeling really weak. I then had a feeling like this is not over. Like there is more to be endured, and I started to cry. I know I shouldn't be emotional of things that I don't know, but just the thought of more put me over the edge. I saw a picture of Christ on the table, and I started to talk to Heavenly Father and tell Him that I was scared. Just then my parents in law said they had a gift to give us, and handed us a huge box. We opened it up, and thought it was food storage, until we found another box inside of that box. It was a box that I recognized from my days working at Deseret Book. I was taken aback, and couldn't really believe it. Sure enough, my husband opened it up, and there it was. A beautiful statue of Christ. I started crying.
I can't explain all of the emotions that I have, but I can say that my Faith in Christ is definitely growing. My husband just read me a card from my aunt and uncle. I am touched at all of the love that has been shown us. The Lord really is watching out for us. I will keep you posted on the recovery.
1 comment:
So sorry you're going through this! Oh, this is Sarah Zurcher Shaw, Justin's cousin. I saw from your Facebook this blog entry and my heart aches for you. It's so hard to understand sometimes why when someone is so willing to bear children that it is such a difficult process. I miscarried our first, it was really hard. Be patient with the ups and downs of your emotions. Grieving is healthy and it crying doesn't mean you don't have faith or hope, don't suppress it. I felt angry, sad, frustrated, depressed, hopeful, grateful all at the same time. You're very faithful, yet human and that's ok! Praying for your recovery and peace!
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