A Couples Foundation

And now my married couples, remember, 

remember it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ,

 the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation.

Helaman 5

     The most important foundation for a couple is Christ.  When Christ is in a marriage it has the power to dull negative things according to how much Christ is in that marriage.  For example, if I am doing the basics- reading the Bible and Book of Mormon, praying, serving- even if it isn't with my whole heart- I have found it dulls my fear and anxiety.  It can weaken my selfishness.

Recently, as Justin and I have started trying to do these things with real intent or with our whole heart, dulling of negative continues, but enhancing the positive is really starting to amaze me.  Christ is taking our family and not only changing us, but enabling us.  

This all began with a sincere examination of my own priorities.  I started to see that I spent hours on Facebook in a day, yet scripture study happened at the end of the day when I was too tired to think straight.  That affected me pondering the truths God has for me within his divine scriptures.  I also was in such a hurry each morning that we either skipped personal and family prayers, or said them really quickly.  We were doing them but what was our reward?  Not the same as those families who truly put the Lord first. (We found just waking up 15 min-30 min earlier has been a spiritual game changer.)

If you are having a hard time in your marriage, I would suggest first putting the Lord as your first priority.  Look at your day and see what fills your time.  If it is your job, kids, Facebook- then I can't help but think you are normal.  However the Lord wants a peculiar people.  Here are some ways that we, family, and friends have tried to make our lives and ourselves a bit more peculiar. 

1. When on lunch breaks- either read your scriptures or ponder some things that you have read during your own recent scripture study.  Discuss it with others.

2. Set rules on Facebook time for yourself as well as family members.  Come up with activities to fill that time.  Consider creating just one account for your spouse and you.  This can build trust and create a feeling of "no secrets."

3. Memorize short quotes from General Conferences. Teach them to your kids (yes it is possible!)

4. Don't be afraid to experiment.  If morning family scripture study isn't that uplifting (because no one is really awake) try it before or after dinner time.  Maybe you both just need a good shower to be more awake in the mornings before you begin.

5. Before family prayers take the time to ask if anyone needs a special blessing or help that they would like to have in the prayer.

6. Try other activities other than just watching movies.  Read books together, play games, sports, or other active things. (I am re-learning how to love playing card and board games...ha ha)

7. Read uplifting stories from family members who have passed on (ancestors).  Show pictures of them, and read their personal testimonies of Christ.

8. Be aware of  the blessings God gives to you in a day, EVERYDAY.  How you could miraculously get that parking spot, or pay that unexpected expense, or run into that person that you had been thinking of.  Thank Him, and you will feel Him more in your life.  This in turn blesses you and your marriage.

**Final personal observation

I have noticed in my own marriage that when Christ is not as much the center in my life, that I start seeing all of the differences that Justin and I have.  (I mean in a negative way.)  It is so easy for me to think- "Oh he doesn't understand," "Why does he do that," or even whip out the old evil "because he's a man" card.  When Christ is made The Master in my life then I start to love and admire Justin's differences, and see how truly similar we are.  Isn't that interesting?  Food for thought.

How have you made Christ THE foundation in your family?  What do you want to change?