Prayer: the best form of communication

I won't say that I always pray with sincerity.  It's not true.  Sometimes I am very guilty of those "vain repetitions" that are pointed out in the scriptures.  "Bless me to have a good day"  "Help me to be able to. . ." "Bless the food that it will nourish and strengthen us," are a few common ones, but today was a little different. 

I had just got done crying about a lot of money that I had lost in a previous purchase.  It is what money minds call a "sunk cost."  It definitely sunk me alright.  After thinking of how I wouldn't have a job soon, and how living life actually still costs money, and my income wouldn't be helping with that any longer, as well as the fact that a return of this purchase wouldn't be helping me at least buy groceries for one more week, I started in a downhill flood of hopeless thoughts.

  I got into the shower, and saw the little scripture mastery scriptures that we had laminated  stuck in there on the shower wall. (For non LDS people, these are scriptures that we strive to memorize in our youth, but being silly teenagers, sometimes do not memorize them until we are old and have less do-good energy.)  It was Isaiah 55: 8-9 "For my ways are not your ways."

"Your ways aren't my ways Lord, and yours are definitely higher.  Help me out of this," I thought.  I started to remember how this life is a time for us to meet God, and like I came to learn today in Alma 36, if you put your trust in the Lord, he will strengthen you through your trials, and afflictions, and moneylessnesses (okay I know that definately isn't a word but!) He will strengthen you through it all.

It was time to read.  I knelt down before I started, and had a sincere conversation with the Lord.  I didn't beg for deliverance, or say how angry I was (He knew that already).  I just expressed my desire to be able to know his thoughts and know his ways, because I was down here in my not so high thoughts, and mortal ways, and I did have a desire to be like him.  I told him I was grateful for some specific things, and hoped that my husband and I could learn, if the Lord would teach us, how to consecrate ourselves so that we could have the faith to see him, hear his voice, and know him.

The spirit filled my heart, and I felt the Lord was there, and He was ready to teach me, if I would be humble enough to listen. 

I started reading in Alma in the Book of Mormon.  Amulek told me that the words of Alma in previous chapters, were an answer, because in my tribulations, I was wondering what to do.  I thought "Note to self, read Alma 32 and 33 again."  Amulek said that Alma's words, were just preparing me for the most important thing (you have to understand this is not what the scriptures said, but what I was taught.)  He then started to testify of the Savior and His atonement. 

That is the most important thing.  Understanding this sacrifice that Christ made for me, and being humble enough to use it.  Everyday!  I need to read the word, gain a testimony and a knowledge of it through the Holy Ghost.  I would then be purified, I could testify, and then in this ongoing process, do it again tomorrow.

So!  I know that God lives.  I know Christ atoned for all our sins, and that through Him and following his gospel, we can live with him again according to the plan of salvation which he has prepared for all of his sons and daughters. I know that the money I lost will not hurt me because the Lord is watching over me, and now that I have exercised a little more faith in Him, he will bless me to have sufficient for my needs.

If you are struggling financially, I know that the Lord will bless you as he has me if you will but read the Word of God, and live it.  You won't do it on your own...express your desires with Heavenly Father, and he will listen and allow you to feel something familiar and wonderful, the Holy Ghost.  He not only gives comfort, but gives a strength beyond your own.  I know this because He has taught it to me, and continues teaching.

Camille